Thursday, July 18, 2013

Pregnancy First Trimester

It's been so long since I've blogged, food or otherwise...long past due and I wanted to journal my trimesters of pregnancy.  I'll split it into 3 posts, one for first tri, one for second, and third.  Still have 5 weeks minimum left to go so there's more journey to get through, but I thought it'd be fun to share how I've felt and things experienced, uncensored with no glamorizing of pregnancy! :)

My pregnancy…a Christmas gift to never forget!

It all started on December 24, 2012.  It was just over a year since I stopped taking birth control or using any form of protection.  In November, my period was 16 days late, so I took 2 at home pregnancy tests that turned up negative.  Of course, I felt like it was just a waste of money to buy those tests from then on after my period came in November. Well, December came and by December 24, I was about 8 days late for my period again.  I didn’t think anything of it, just contributing it to stress and the holidays.  But my mother in law insisted that I try taking a test or two because I was having cramping and spotting but no menstrual period for almost a week.  She insisted that I do so, and even offered to pay for the tests.  So, I went to Safeway to get last-minute Christmas groceries on Christmas Eve and popped two tests in my cart.  Well, we all went off to Christmas Eve church service before I even took a test.  I remember drinking Starbucks thinking “This might be my last one for a while!” but I didn’t really believe it yet. 

When we got back, I squeezed in a test while dinner was being prepared.  I always thought I’d see just that one line and throw away the test.  Today was different.  Within no time at all, there were two pink lines.  TWO!  I couldn’t believe it.  I felt shaky, teary, and excited all at the same time.  I called Dwight in to tell him, and he popped my bubble by calmly saying, “You have to take another one tomorrow to be sure.”  It’s like he didn't believe it just yet!  But I knew.  I just knew!  I guess a mom knowsJ.  I told my mother-in-law, step-father-in-law, and brother-in-law who were there for dinner.  The next morning at 5:30 AM, just as hubby was driving away for work (on Christmas day!!), I took my second test.  I was right all along, baby Droze was for real!  I made an appointment to go to the doctor on December 26 to get everything confirmed and make sure the spotting and cramping was OK.  There is no feeling to describe the first time you’re pregnant and you didn’t even expect it to be that soon! (We thought a year or more later).

Well, at the doctor they found a gestational sac and counted me at about 6 weeks along.  The doctor told me that because we just saw the sac and no fetus yet, it’s not a guarantee that the pregnancy will last.  And that was the first time I ever thought about miscarriage.  And it wouldn’t be the last.

Fears, doubts, uncomfortable stuff:

After my 6 week appointment, I started taking prenatal vitamins right away.  I was nervous about being pregnant, not telling anyone at work yet except one person, and feeling very tired.  Just a few days after starting the vitamin, my system started stopping up and constipation hit me like a ton of bricks.  Little did I know that it would be constantly plaguing me all the way into 2nd trimester!  I was very thankful to not have any signs of morning sickness, just the worst exhaustion.  It was so hard to keep my secret at work because of being so tired, and my clothes felt uncomfortable so I had to start wearing yoga pants or leggings every day. 

When we got to 8 weeks, Dwight came with me to our appointment.  We got to see our lil one for the first time on the ultrasound, and we got a steady and healthy heartbeat.  That day is the day I got 5 vials of blood taken at once, and an uncomfortable 2-sample cup urine test!  What a day!  And it’s also the day we got our Pack & Play for baby.  Since my 6 week appointment, I was still suffering a yeast infection (which I had never had in my whole life until pregnancy...booOooo!) and at 8 week appointment I had to give in and start taking the over-counter prescription to fix it. 

In the midst of battling the yeast infection & constipation, not to mention fall-on-my-desk fatigue, one Saturday night at the end of January I had the scare of my life.  We had just got back from visiting my parents in Lincoln and were going to stay the night at my mother-in-law Wendy’s.  It was about 8:30 and we brought back dinner to eat and were planning to just relax.  I felt a funny feeling and went to use the bathroom.  I had some fresh blood, not a lot, but enough to scare me.  For the next day, I spent the time worrying, praying, calling the nurse & doctor advice line, and barely moving for fear of getting worse.  My sister-in-law took me to the doctor on Monday and they ran an ultrasound and baby was just fine, heart beating steadily.  To my relief, everything went back to normal starting that afternoon.  I had never been so scared before, so uncertain and worried about my little one. It was really and truly some of the worst couple days of my life. I learned so fast to empathize with those who have had losses in pregnancy OR even just difficulties that cause so much anxiety. 

Well, 10 weeks came and went, and soon we were at my 12 week appointment.  I loved seeing my little one each time on the screen, so bouncy now and looking much less like a blob.  We got to choose a midwife, and she has been wonderful so far.  After my 12-week appointment I told the office and everyone was happy albeit not too surprised.  I guess the yoga pants and frequent trips to the bathroom gave it awayJ.  Soon after, at 13 weeks, on Valentine’s day we announced baby’s coming to the rest of friends and family.  Since very early on, we knew that our good friends Holly and Jordan would be having a baby too just two weeks ahead.  What an exciting time for both of us to go through together!  I was so happy to have reached the end of the first trimester, and looking forward to maybe getting back some energy and growing a little more of a bump.

So what are my thoughts on the first trimester?

100% honestly not really fun.  I had so much anxiety over baby being safe or healthy and also I just felt cold, miserable, tired, and not very hungry.  I had an accounting class and business management class online and struggled to keep up with those, although I can proudly say I did finish them :)  I dealt with feeling anxious over being ready to be a parent, having finances in order, what to do with work, and how to keep my daily routine.  Now at 35 weeks, I can look back and say I DID IT-- as far as worked, came home, tried my best to keep up on my house, and tried to not be a worrier! :)  I would do it all over again for the blessing of a child, despite it not being the most glamorous time of my life.  

More to come about 2nd trimester!